Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
