Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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