Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
