OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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