A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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