I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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