i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
