The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
