He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
A bitchslap is in order.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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