kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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