why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
