this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
