I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I think my moral compass just broke
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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