Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
