You work out of a Hotel?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
