so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
