they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
