My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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