it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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