Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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