playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
