Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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