Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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