Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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