How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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