Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
