If that was your dad, he is hot
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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