no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just googled if crying burns calories
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
