I must be too annoying 4 u.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
