is wine microwaveable?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
