It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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