we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
