Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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