Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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