it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
