This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
