just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
