Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my being single is dangerous.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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