I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
