Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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