I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
