She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
