Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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