I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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