Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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