ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
