Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
