Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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