How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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