Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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