what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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