Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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