I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
