Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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