So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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